woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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