I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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