Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
