I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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