Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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