Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
BRING THE BAGELS
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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