All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
