What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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