idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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