She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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