that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
