i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
