I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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