Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
