NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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