i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
