can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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