But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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