So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
