Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
