How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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