her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
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Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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