i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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