trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
