everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
