If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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