Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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