Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's blow job season.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
