White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
