I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
then he tried to convert me to islam
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
