i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
