Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
