hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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