How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
