East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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