I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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