You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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