$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
