Soap is not a condiment
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
