so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
