Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
