Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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