i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
