My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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