you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
