Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize