i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
