Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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