Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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