So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
