fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
