i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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