i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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