But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
