: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
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he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
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I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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