Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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