why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
