His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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