you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
