1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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