once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize