you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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