I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
