4 words: hood of his car
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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