she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
