Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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