absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
thus making me awesome and them whores
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
