she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
