From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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