I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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