I want to have your abortion
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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