then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
