look no pants
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I would fuck him just for his dog
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
