I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
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does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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