I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
