i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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