Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
