ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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